Religion, confusion, comps
Jan. 24th, 2004 12:00 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
levertovfanSo I'm clearly a very confused person.
I was headed to dinner at the dining hall today when I was intercepted by Jess Radway, who is going on a maybe-I'm-going-to-recover-my-Jewish-heritage kick and she dragged me off to Shabbat dinner at Reynolds House. I've sucessfully avoided much that has to do with the Jewish religion for a a very long time, but she's my comps partner and I didn't feel like I can refuse her.
In any case, during the service, the many reasons that I am highly uncomfortable with Judaism came flowing back to me. Patriarchy. Self-righteousness. Singing and chanting things in a language that most people in the room don't understand. Judaism just doesn't jibe with my values, which run toward respecting other people, not smiting them.
Later tonight, I started thinking about what I want to do over spring break. I don't want to go home and I don't want to stay in Northfield, which occasionally starts feeling claustrophobic. At some point last week, I remembered about a Benedictine retreat in Wisconsin for college women. Going somewhere else and just sitting and thinking and reading is very appealing. In any case, I started performing internet searches for spiritual retreats. Suddenly, I remembered why it is I don't like organized religion and/or spiritual advisors: they intrude on personal spiritual autonomy. In any case, retreating is out. Why I thought I should go on a religious sort of retreat shortly after spending several uncomfortable hours thinking about organized religion and patriarchy is anyone's guess.
I was headed to dinner at the dining hall today when I was intercepted by Jess Radway, who is going on a maybe-I'm-going-to-recover-my-Jewish-heritage kick and she dragged me off to Shabbat dinner at Reynolds House. I've sucessfully avoided much that has to do with the Jewish religion for a a very long time, but she's my comps partner and I didn't feel like I can refuse her.
In any case, during the service, the many reasons that I am highly uncomfortable with Judaism came flowing back to me. Patriarchy. Self-righteousness. Singing and chanting things in a language that most people in the room don't understand. Judaism just doesn't jibe with my values, which run toward respecting other people, not smiting them.
Later tonight, I started thinking about what I want to do over spring break. I don't want to go home and I don't want to stay in Northfield, which occasionally starts feeling claustrophobic. At some point last week, I remembered about a Benedictine retreat in Wisconsin for college women. Going somewhere else and just sitting and thinking and reading is very appealing. In any case, I started performing internet searches for spiritual retreats. Suddenly, I remembered why it is I don't like organized religion and/or spiritual advisors: they intrude on personal spiritual autonomy. In any case, retreating is out. Why I thought I should go on a religious sort of retreat shortly after spending several uncomfortable hours thinking about organized religion and patriarchy is anyone's guess.
