A ramble-y and incoherent post

Occasionally I think about my affinity for Fozzie the Bear. You know, the muppet with the silly forehead and the aw shucks attitude and the ability to say wakka wakka wakka after an unfunny joke and look around the room expecting laughter. He stands up there as the audience pelts him with tomatos and he keeps going. That's the thing about pain. Sometimes it's so overwhelming and so ridiculous that the only option is to laugh at it. It's not that I'm a mess or that I'm depressed or even that I'm in a bad mood, it's just that life somehow demands it.

At the radio show today, Lucy and I were playing depressing songs, and she put on some song by Rhett Miller about someone who has been dumped. Lucy was dumped over break. She said something about how the chorus to this song, about not wanting to be lonely ones whole life, had been the theme song of her breakup. And I just started laughing (I apologized later). There's some quote about how human life is overall a tragedy, but up close the same sorts of things are comedy. Or maybe it's the other way around. The point is that it doesn't seem possible to deal with tragedy without a little bit of humor.

Derek muses a lot about his love life, or lack thereof. Of course it makes me think about my love life/the history of my lovelife/my current lack of a love life and it's just-- very-- funny. Or absurd. Or some sort of word that encompasses both funniness and absurdity. Most of you reading my lj probably don't know this, and it probably isn't the best medium for revealing it, but the last (only) guy I dated and I broke up simultaneously when I found out he did hard drugs and he came to the realization that I was smarter than him. It's just-- kind of-- funny that I was involved with a guy like that. In a really horrible way, but funny nevertheless.

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And funny. It's a strange word. "Fun" is a key part of it. Fun is a light word, a breezy word, a non-commital sort of word. And funnyness is somehow much more serious.