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Aug. 23rd, 2004 01:21 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
levertovfanSo, my life. I quit Grassroots Campaigns, a decision which I partly documented in
Even though I could take a chronological approach, I’m starting this entry with my dreams and general anxiety last night. My dreams were lucid dreams, extensions of my waking, insomniac anxieties. I had (and continue to have) a very deep sunburn on the back of my neck, a souvenir of the day’s activities. As a result of this sunburn, every time I tried to lie flat on my back, palms up, and concentrate on my breathing, I immediately started squirming. Every other position I tried was somehow imbalanced because of my hips or my knees or my neck and led to full on tossing and turning. In the dreams, the activities and sites of the day replayed themselves chaotically, twirling around very, very fast. The best I can describe them, they played out as if I were standing in the middle of a tilt-a-whirl and watching as each scene appeared to my right, moved back and to the center, and then to the left and out of frame. First the white walls of the room where I trained earlier that day in how to hail people on the street twirled around me, along with the canvassing director and my co-trainee. Then the overly enthusiastic field manager, a blond girl who wore huge green earrings and green eye makeup and resembled nothing so much in both appearance and behavior as a camp counselor in a 80s kids movie. Then the corner I stood on all day, feeling the weight of the sun barring down on me. Then a flashback to the “team room” at headquarters, with a huge group of enthusiastic fellow canvassers, way too loud for that small room. The weirdest thing of all about these dreams was how they segued seamlessly between my own thoughts as I twisted and tossed on the mattress. Why they’re called lucid dreams, I guess.
OK. More rationally, here’s why I decided to leave grassroots campaign. I didn’t like the leadership style. The field managers were very much up in your face about just what your goals were. There was a rap that we were supposed to memorize that no one who was a successful canvasser used and new recruits have to come in early every day for their first two weeks to play games for an hour to show that they’d memorized the rap. I’d imagine it like new student week games, only mandatory. Plus, the standing out in the hot sun all day, dealing with obnoxious Republicans, dealing with democrats who think our opening line (“Do you want to help defeat George Bush?”) was too negative, the very strange pay scale. I’m glad I decided against it.
I'm leaving for a trip to visit my grandparents in Miami on Wednesday. Job search prospects are just really grim. I've been on the same sites so frequently that I've seen most of the jobs advertized. I did find a new job listing in which I'm interested in one of the sites that I visit less frequently. I'll apply to it, but my thoughts, and internet serfing, have generally revolved around (1) what sorts of grad school programs would lead to the sorts of jobs I'd like to have, (2) whether or not to start up Emily Organizes!(my father's name for my summer job as a personal assistant) again and (3)whether or not I want to move elsewhere when my lease expires. I have until September 30th to decide, but I have to be here (or else sublet) until the end of Novemember, which makes that potential job search difficult. If I do (2), there's the question of how much capital I want to sink into it, and if I actually want to start my own business. It would make sense to invest in some advertizements, maybe a cell phone, even more sense to invest in a car so I can travel into the outer suburbs. Alas, I have the time to see how all of these options play out.
I've been reading a very good novel, "Freedom & Necessity" by Steven Brust and Emma Bull. It's an epistolary historical fantasy novel with a great many references to Hegel and German philosophy. It's written in delicious fake nineteenth century prose. I'm not actually certain that anyone who reads my journal would like it except for Des, but I thought I should give it a shout out.
In other news, an invention of mine. So, you've heard of one pot meals. I've discovered a one pot meal that produces two different meals. I started making vegetarian french onion soup (shitake mushroom instead of beef broth) and then realized I could cook a frozen fish fillet in the soup. The flavor of the soup seasons the fish; the flavor of the fish blends with the broth; yet still two very good, very different meals.
Even though I could take a chronological approach, I’m starting this entry with my dreams and general anxiety last night. My dreams were lucid dreams, extensions of my waking, insomniac anxieties. I had (and continue to have) a very deep sunburn on the back of my neck, a souvenir of the day’s activities. As a result of this sunburn, every time I tried to lie flat on my back, palms up, and concentrate on my breathing, I immediately started squirming. Every other position I tried was somehow imbalanced because of my hips or my knees or my neck and led to full on tossing and turning. In the dreams, the activities and sites of the day replayed themselves chaotically, twirling around very, very fast. The best I can describe them, they played out as if I were standing in the middle of a tilt-a-whirl and watching as each scene appeared to my right, moved back and to the center, and then to the left and out of frame. First the white walls of the room where I trained earlier that day in how to hail people on the street twirled around me, along with the canvassing director and my co-trainee. Then the overly enthusiastic field manager, a blond girl who wore huge green earrings and green eye makeup and resembled nothing so much in both appearance and behavior as a camp counselor in a 80s kids movie. Then the corner I stood on all day, feeling the weight of the sun barring down on me. Then a flashback to the “team room” at headquarters, with a huge group of enthusiastic fellow canvassers, way too loud for that small room. The weirdest thing of all about these dreams was how they segued seamlessly between my own thoughts as I twisted and tossed on the mattress. Why they’re called lucid dreams, I guess.
OK. More rationally, here’s why I decided to leave grassroots campaign. I didn’t like the leadership style. The field managers were very much up in your face about just what your goals were. There was a rap that we were supposed to memorize that no one who was a successful canvasser used and new recruits have to come in early every day for their first two weeks to play games for an hour to show that they’d memorized the rap. I’d imagine it like new student week games, only mandatory. Plus, the standing out in the hot sun all day, dealing with obnoxious Republicans, dealing with democrats who think our opening line (“Do you want to help defeat George Bush?”) was too negative, the very strange pay scale. I’m glad I decided against it.
I'm leaving for a trip to visit my grandparents in Miami on Wednesday. Job search prospects are just really grim. I've been on the same sites so frequently that I've seen most of the jobs advertized. I did find a new job listing in which I'm interested in one of the sites that I visit less frequently. I'll apply to it, but my thoughts, and internet serfing, have generally revolved around (1) what sorts of grad school programs would lead to the sorts of jobs I'd like to have, (2) whether or not to start up Emily Organizes!(my father's name for my summer job as a personal assistant) again and (3)whether or not I want to move elsewhere when my lease expires. I have until September 30th to decide, but I have to be here (or else sublet) until the end of Novemember, which makes that potential job search difficult. If I do (2), there's the question of how much capital I want to sink into it, and if I actually want to start my own business. It would make sense to invest in some advertizements, maybe a cell phone, even more sense to invest in a car so I can travel into the outer suburbs. Alas, I have the time to see how all of these options play out.
I've been reading a very good novel, "Freedom & Necessity" by Steven Brust and Emma Bull. It's an epistolary historical fantasy novel with a great many references to Hegel and German philosophy. It's written in delicious fake nineteenth century prose. I'm not actually certain that anyone who reads my journal would like it except for Des, but I thought I should give it a shout out.
In other news, an invention of mine. So, you've heard of one pot meals. I've discovered a one pot meal that produces two different meals. I started making vegetarian french onion soup (shitake mushroom instead of beef broth) and then realized I could cook a frozen fish fillet in the soup. The flavor of the soup seasons the fish; the flavor of the fish blends with the broth; yet still two very good, very different meals.
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no subject
Date: 2004-08-31 12:23 pm (UTC)I wish you luck on the job search, and selfishly hope you'll stay around, but if you choose not to I'll entirely understand. Minnesota doesn't seem like the best place to find jobs . . .
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Date: 2004-08-31 12:24 pm (UTC)